Christmas on Everybody Loves Raymond

Merry Christmas!  We're wrapping up 2024 with this year's look at how Everybody Loves Raymond chose to celebrate Christmas!  As always, it's been a real treat for me to re-watch each holiday episode for this series of holiday articles.  There have been some serious belly laughs as I sit and watch these episodes again.  I hope you've enjoyed watching these classic episodes and following along with me here at YesterYear, too!  

Just like they did for Thanksgiving, Everybody Loves Raymond went all-out during Christmas.  After only one Halloween episode, the series created 8 Thanksgiving episodes, and for Christmas, the same was done by making 8 special Christmas episodes over 9 seasons.  During Thanksgiving, "Raymond" skipped over the second season, but for Christmas, every season except the last received a Christmas-themed episode.  

I haven't been able to find a specific reason why the show didn't create a Christmas episode in 2004 during its final season, but the show did take a hiatus of over a month between the last week of November and the first week of January.  

Like always, I like to throw in something extra, so here are some quick fun facts about Everybody Loves Raymond.  

The children's names changed after the pilot episode.  The series was inspired by Ray Romano's real life, and when creating the characters, he used his own children's names.  During the pilot episode, the three children were named Alexandra, Gregory, and Matthew.  After the pilot, Romano didn't like using the names of his real-life children, so the names were changed to Michael and Geoffrey, keeping the first initial of each boy.  The name "Ally" was used almost exclusively for the rest of the series instead of Alexandra.  

Since I brought up the twins, when the pilot episode was filmed, they were played by Justin and Drew Ferriera.  By the time the show was picked up, they had aged to the point where they looked completely different, and it was decided that the characters would be recast.  It just so happened that the actress who played Ally, Madilyn Sweeten, had twin baby brothers, Sawyer and Sullivan.  The fact that all three looked nothing like Ray sparked some odd fan theories that range from a past love affair with another woman (Ray cheated, not Debra) or that Ray's blonde-haired friend Doug Heffernan (Kevin James) from King of Queens was the actual father.  In reality, it was just the convenience of casting, and their appearance became a running gag on the show.

Amy's brother Peter was also recast during the series.  Initially played by Paul Reubens of Pee-Wee Herman fame, the character was recast after Reubens was charged with possession of child pornography.  Even though those charges were eventually dropped, Romano and the producers didn't want the negative publicity, so they tapped Chris Elliott (Schitt's Creek) to play the part.  As much as I like Reubens, I feel Elliott was much better in the role.  

Even though they were thick as thieves on the show, Patricia Heaton, the actress who played Debra, was often at odds backstage with Peter Boyle, who played Frank.  Heaton, known for being conservative, would frequently have spirited (yet respectful and friendly) debates with her very liberal co-star.  

Peter Boyle's two most famous roles are mentioned during the series.  In the Halloween article, I pointed out how he was dressed as Frankenstein as a nod to his role in Young Frankenstein.  His other best-known role, as Wizard from the movie Taxi Driver, was replicated in a similar scene in Season Two's episode "Six Feet Under."  You can see a video comparison below:

Hopefully, you found some of those trivia bits interesting, and it might be something you can mention around the holiday table this season!  Depends on how slow the conversation is, I guess!

Now, let's get to the Christmas Episodes!

1.  "The Ball" (Season 1, Episode 12)  Originally Aired December 20, 1996

It's Christmas time on Long Island, and Debra is running a charity drive.  The house is littered with old items ready to be given to the needy when Robert finds an old baseball in one of the boxes.  Raymond freaks out and says the ball was over 25 years old and was signed by baseball legend Mickey Mantle.  Ray's father, Frank, had given him the ball when he was a kid.  While Ray got a Hall of Famer's signature, Robert got Art Shamsky's. 

When Ray's friend Andy comes over, Ray shows him the ball and tells him about the day Frank got it signed for him.  Andy reminds Ray that over 70% of Mickey Mantle's autographs were fake, most signed by interns and trainees.  Andy and Robert share a good laugh and leave Ray doubting his ball.  

Ray later tells Debra how much the ball means to him.  Ray was always amazed that Mickey Mantle took the time to write his name and wish him luck, inspiring him to become a sportswriter.  

Ray shows up at his parents' house as they are putting together their silver artificial Christmas tree. Ray shows Frank the baseball, and Frank remembers when he brought it home for him and how excited the young Ray had been.  Ray says, "So Mickey Mantle really signed it, then?"  Frank grins and says, "Who told you that?"

Frank can't understand why Ray is upset, so Ray heads home and complains to Debra. Debra tells him that everyone lies to their kids, like when Ray tells the kids, "It's not a toy store... it's a toy museum" or "Daddy is just teaching Mommy how to wrestle!"  

Ray vows never to lie to his kids again, just as Ally comes in and asks about Santa Claus.  Stuck between not wanting to disappoint his daughter and his newfound vow of truth, Ray is unsure what to say.  Ray hems and haws, and just as he's about to come clean, Debra steps in and stops him.  Marie comes in to get Frank's old sweater back from the donation drive, and Debra tells her that Ray almost told Ally the truth about Santa Claus.  

Marie blows her top.  "Ally is five years old, you scrooge!  Of course, we lie!  We all lie.. that's what holds us all together!"  

Later, Ray begins questioning everything Debra ever told him, including stories about old boyfriends.  Just then, Robert bursts through the door dressed as Santa because Marie told him that Ally has doubts.  Robert sits down on the couch to talk to Ally just as Frank comes through the front door, also dressed as Santa.  As the two fight about who is REALLY Santa Claus, Ray pulls down their beards and reveals that it's Uncle Robert and Grandpa.  Ally is even more confused and goes to her bedroom.

Ray talks to Frank, and Frank still can't understand why he's upset about "just a ball."  Frank says that he didn't know Mickey Mantle personally, so he went to Yankee Stadium for five straight games and waited by the locker room, but Mantle never came out.  He then admits that he practiced signing the signature for weeks so that it'd look real.  He didn't want him to be disappointed because, after all, "You're my kid."  

Frank apologizes to Ray, and Ray takes the ball back from his father.

"Even though you know that ball's a fake, it still means something to you?" asks Frank.  

Ray says yes, and Frank adds, "Then this Christmas, you're going to love the Rolex I got you!"  

That night, as Ally sleeps, Ray walks into her bedroom dressed as Santa Claus. He wakes her and answers every question she has about Santa. As the episode comes to an end, Ally sweetly says, "I'll see you next year."  

2.  "All I Want For Christmas" (Season 2, Episode 12) Originally Aired December 15, 1997

The episode opens in the Barone's living room. Debra and Ray both have their schedules open, and they are trying to find a time to schedule "alone time." Debra says she is just too busy, and Ray reminds her that she has already canceled the last few "appointments."  

Later that night, Ray is in the bedroom trying to make himself look the best he can.  He settles in on the bed for "alone time" when Debra walks in wearing her flannel pajamas.  Ray immediately knows that the appointment has been canceled.  

Ray is devastated.  "Not the flannel pajamas!  You may as well be wearing a porcupine suit!  We had an appointment!"  

Ray is upset that Debra is never in the mood.  She reminds him of last Wednesday when she was in the mood and asked for a back rub, and Ray gave her the one-handed, half-hearted attempt.  Ray is beside himself: "You ask for a backrub, and that means Mr. Smith goes to Washington?!"

The next day at Giants Stadium, Ray and Andy ask a female co-worker named Erin for advice.  Ray asks her for shortcuts and directions to find "the mood."  Erin says there are no shortcuts; you must put in the time and keep the "mushy stuff" going past the wedding.  

That night, when Ray gets home, Debra is already in bed, but he arrives with a gift "just because."  Inside the package is "magic fingers," a pulsating glove that Ray uses to massage her back.  She calls him "Raymond," which confirms the green light... but the magic fingers get caught in her hair and ruin the moment.  

The following day, Ray tries again by sweeping the floor (in his underwear) while singing Elvis' "In the Ghetto."  Debra notices him cleaning and tells him he "gives her a shiver" watching him.  As they start kissing, Ray pulls back, frustrated.  

"What are you doing to me?  It's Christmas!  Ally's up, and my parents will be here any minute, and you've just activated the launch sequence now!"  

After Ray puts clothes on, Debra tries taking them off in the kitchen. Marie whispers, "I need you, Raymond," into his ear as Ray and Debra kiss.  They all move into the living room to open presents, where Marie has given Debra an oversized fluffy pink nightgown. It's just like the one Marie wears, and Ray is completely turned off.  

Robert has given Ray a remote-controlled airplane, which Robert seems to like more than Ray.  Ray gave Robert a set of three golf balls. 

Ray continues to help Debra by offering to clean up the dishes after Christmas dinner.  Debra once again calls him "Raymond," causing the two to giggle like children.  

In the kitchen, Ray tries to get Frank to take the kids for the afternoon, but Frank is confused.  When Ray says it'll give him and Debra a chance to "relax," Frank gets excited and tells him how he and Marie used to enjoy some "alone time" on Christmas day.  

To help his son, Frank immediately yells for Marie to pack up her stuff and leave.  Marie is confused about the sudden departure, and Frank, in front of the whole family, says, "They're young and in love and want to be alone.  Do I have to hit you over the head with a mallet?"

Disgusted, Marie says, "Raymond!  It's Christmas Day!  The baby Jesus was just born!"  

Debra and Ray are embarrassed as Frank ushers everyone out the door, asking them to "Flash the lights when you're done.  We'll come back over!"

Up in the bedroom, the mood is anything but festive.   The two argue about Ray's lack of romance and his ability to talk to her.  When she turns him down, he storms out, citing his pride.  She tells "Raymond" to come back, turned on by his assertiveness.  At the sound of his full name, he comes running back.  

Just as it appears to be a Merry Christmas, a buzzing noise starts.  Faintly at first, it grows louder until Robert's toy airplane smashes through the bedroom window, disrupting the Christmas festivities.  

3.  "The Toaster" (Season 3, Episode 12)  Originally Aired December 14, 1998

We open to another display of Ray's paranoia as he forces Debra to read an engraving on a toaster.  There was a time in the late 90s when engravement stores in shopping malls were all the rage, and Ray has succumbed to the trend.  He's second-guessing his gift idea, and Debra is trying to convince him it's lovely.  He worries Debra's parents, Warren and Lois, won't like it.  

"No, Ray, this is a very... funky, badass toaster," Debra says, trying to get him to cheer up.  

After the opening, we're in Connecticut at Warren and Lois' house.  This is the one and only time during the entire series we see their house in Connecticut, and it's very modern, upscale, and pretentious, as you'd expect.  When they open the gift, they show little enthusiasm.

Debra encourages them to open the box, and after reading the description, the two suddenly gush all over it. Warren loves the chrome, and Lois calls it "retro chic."  

Robert arrives with his new girlfriend, Leanne.  He then mentions to Ray that he loved the engraved toaster as well.  Hinting that he's slightly jealous that Ray thought of a nice gift, he says, "Everyone's gonna love it, Raymond.  Just what you need... more love."  

Ray asks if his parents said anything about the gift, but Robert hasn't talked to them yet.  He thanked Raymond again for the sweet gift and the two hug.  Debra tells him again he got everyone the perfect Christmas gift, but the pessimist Ray worries because his parents haven't called about the toaster.

The next day, at home, Ray couldn't believe his parents had not mentioned the toaster yet.  

Just then, Marie walks in, bragging about how lovely her Christmas was.  She asks for Aspirin for Frank's hangover headache, and Ray asks if they got his gift.  

"Yes, dear, very nice..." before changing the topic to Robbie's new girlfriend.  Ray decides to talk to his Dad, but when Ray asks about the gift, Frank says, "Very nice, thank you. What do you want? It was a toaster."  

Ray asked if they had opened the box and read the engraving, but Frank didn't know what was written on it. When Ray looked for it, Frank said that Marie wanted a coffeemaker.  Marie, who had just entered the kitchen, said they took it to Bloomingdale's and exchanged it for her new coffeemaker.  

She offers to put the grandchildren's names on the coffee maker, but Ray is too angry to console.  Ray says any time he's given them a present, it's never good enough.  He brings up the microwave, and Marie says, "Well, yes, who cooks with that thing," while a more practical (?) Frank worries, "That thing would have stopped me from having more children."  

He brings up the fruit of the month club, and Marie wrinkles her nose with disgust.  "That was insane!  All of that fruit!  And they keep sending me... pictures of apricots!"  The Fruit Club is a running gag that lasted the whole series based on a gift Raymond gave his parents in the pilot episode.  "I don't know what else to say," she continues.  "We're the ones that have to GET these presents."  

Later, Frank and Marie are in a long line at Bloomingdale's with the coffee maker box.  Frank plans to swindle the cashier and walk out with the coffee maker AND Ray's toaster "thing."  He claims they didn't open the box as the cashier pulls out a used coffee filter.  Marie asks if they can exchange it for a toaster, and the cashier points them towards the toaster section.  

The two begin ripping open boxes of toasters, looking for Ray's engraved one.  Frank and Marie start to argue.  "I have a mind of my own... I can contribute.  I'm not some... trophy wife!"  Doris Roberts (Marie) tries her best not to break character as Peter Boyle (Frank) then utters one of the funniest lines in the series when he says, "A trophy wife?  What contest in hell did I win?"  

Another woman arrives with Ray's toaster and claims that her son gave it to her, and she wishes to have the names rewritten.  Marie grabs it and runs out with the engraved toaster as the cashier calls security. 

Later that night, Debra gets a call and tells Ray he needs to go to Bloomingdale's because his parents are involved in a police incident. Rather than helping them, Ray sits back, smiling. "They do care..." 

4.  "The Christmas Picture" (Season 4, Episode 11)  Originally Aired December 13, 1999

This episode opens with Robert and Debra in the kitchen.  Debra is writing Christmas cards, and Robert is raiding their refrigerator. Robert asks what they got Frank and Marie for Christmas this year, and Debra says Ray is across the street looking for hints as they speak.  Robert laughs, saying Marie uses the same prepared line every year:  "Oh, I don't need anything, dear. I just want two nice boys."  

Ray walks in and says he picked up on a hint for something but clams up when he sees Robert.  Ray tricks his brother into telling him that he plans to get their parents a hammock this year.  After laughing, Ray said he plans to get Marie a family portrait photo.  Debra is immediately concerned, knowing it won't go as Ray sees it in his head.

Ray tries to convince her by saying, "It's good we're taking the photo now. I mean, you only get older-looking every year!"  As you'd expect, this doesn't go over well.

The next day, Ray tells his parents about his idea.  Marie doesn't seem enthusiastic, but her mood really sours when Debra suggests a new Christmas tradition.  Instead of alternating years between her parents and Ray's, like they've done for a while now, she would like to have Christmas Eve at her parents in Connecticut and then Christmas Day with Marie and Frank.  

Marie musters a "Lovely idea..." before suggesting they'll need to leave Connecticut in the middle of the night to be home in time for Christmas morning.  Debra has already thought of this and said they'll spend the night in Connecticut and then leave in the morning and be back just before lunch.  

Marie is upset that she'll miss the children waking up on Christmas morning excited to open their presents.  "Why would you take that away from me?" she asks.  Meanwhile, Frank is fine with 10 or 11.  "Who needs that crack of dawn, crap?  Grandpa can give you a better show at 10."  

Deb suggests it's not that big of a deal, but Marie is devastated, and Debra drags Ray into the argument.  Ray sides with his mother and says, "That just sounds like a lot of driving."  

A few days later, the family arrives at the photo studio.  Robert arrives straight from work wearing his police uniform, and Ray is upset that he'll be upstaged in the photo.  Robbie asks Marie why Amy can't be in the photo, and she pressures him by saying, "It's a Barone family photo. When you make her a Barone, she can be in the photo."  

Just then, Warren and Lois walk in.  Marie slowly turns to Ray and mutters, "What did you do?!"  Lois warmly greets Marie and reminds her that there aren't any photos of the two of them together, and Marie acts surprised.  She corners Raymond and tells him she doesn't want the "others" in her family photo.

Ray pulls Debra aside and asks what her parents were doing at the family photo shoot.  Debra answers, "They are family.  It's a family photo shoot."  Ray accuses her of sabotage because she didn't get what she wanted for Christmas Eve, so she thought she'd invite them for the family photo.  

When Ray fails to get Debra to ask her parents to leave, Marie tells him to take the picture without her.  Ray is now stuck between a rock and a hard place, with Debra and Marie refusing to take the photo with the other's involvement.  Ray pleads that he finally wants a nice Christmas gift, after last year's toaster and that Fruit of the Month Club.

Ray starts to physically drag everyone into position until Robert announces he doesn't want to change out of his uniform since Amy isn't allowed in the photo, but Debra's parents are.  When everyone finally groups together, Marie sits silently in the corner with a knowing smirk that, once again, everyone is waiting on her.  

Ray grabs the chair she's sitting in and slides it into the middle of the group photo.  Lois asks if she has time to change clothes because the background will clash with her scarf, and Ray loses his cool.  

As he dresses down the entire family, the photographer brings out the children, and Ray demands he take the photo immediately.  Not a soul is happy, except Robert, who is happy his little brother's "perfect gift" was ruined.  

In the post-credit scene, the photographer continues taking photos as Robert makes fun of Ray. Everyone starts laughing, and the photo ends with big smiles all around... except the annoyed Raymond.

5.  "Christmas Present" (Season 5, Episode 11) Originally Aired December 11, 2000

Ray comes home as Robert and Debra are in the kitchen discussing Ray's Christmas present, an ugly tie.  When Debra leaves the room, Robert asks Raymond if they'll be able to go on a golf trip.  Ray's connection in Myrtle Beach has given them the green light, but Ray needs to "handle" Debra.  

He tells Robert not to worry; he's got a plan and Ray starts sucking up to her with over-the-top compliments.  As Debra runs out of the house, Ray stops her and asks what he can get the most beautiful woman in the world.  Debra sighs and says, "I don't know what she wants, but I'd like a crock pot."  

After she leaves, Robert asks if a crock pot will get them the trip to Myrtle Beach, and Ray says it's not the crock pot.  The crock pot sets the level; he's got to exceed it.  Then, Robert tells him he knows that Debra bought him an ugly tie for Christmas.  This really excites Ray, who says, "Oh, I've got stuff under the front seats of my car that can beat that!"

On Christmas, Marie is holding a green sweater that Debra gave her.  Debra tells her that if she doesn't like it, she should return it to Macy's.  "No, no, dear, I love it.  I wouldn't do that.  Macy's in Massapequa or Macy's in the city?" replies Marie.

Frank comes over with a gift box for Debra from Ray.  Ray and Robert share a knowing glance as Debra unwraps the gift—the crock pot she wanted!  As she unwraps it, Ray brings out another, much larger gift. It's an entire set of very expensive pots and pans, and Debra is elated.  

Robert begins to unwrap a small box to reveal the ugly Christmas tie.  He tells Debra this must be a mistake, and she admits that it was meant for Robert, but when he saw it the other day, she told him it was for Ray so he wouldn't know it was his.  Robbie and Ray are suddenly worried about their golf plans as Debra goes into the other room to get Ray's gift and comes out with a GIANT box.  

He opens the box and finds a new, very expensive (remember, this is 2000) state-of-the-art DVD player and a stack of movies.  Debra leaves to set up her new pots, and Marie follows, saying, "I better go help her; they aren't MAGIC pots."

Now alone, Robert and Ray argue over their failed golf trip.  Frank has been listening and figures out that Ray tried to soften her up with a big gift so he can play golf.  He then tells his boys, "Not for me, I don't do that nice crap!  I don't ever buy expensive gifts for your mother."  

When Robert asks how he gets to do what he wants, Frank responds matter of factly, "I've learned to go without."  He then reminds Ray to play defense and not offense... why did Debra give Ray the big, expensive DVD player?  What does SHE want?  

Now, the suspicious Ray begins watching Debra like a hawk when she brings him hot chocolate and gives him a big kiss as she thanks him again for the new pots.  Ray questions what she could possibly want from him, and Frank nicely suggests, "Maybe she wants to sleep with the bag boy from the A&P.  Have you SEEN the bag boy from the A&P?"  

Ray goes into the kitchen to ask Debra what's going on.  She plays coy and says that it's Christmas, he got her a lovely gift, and she's having a pleasant time with his mother.  Marie shrugs behind her back and shakes her head no.  Ray lays it all out there and says he wants to go golfing with Robert and the guys for a long weekend in Myrtle Beach.  Debra says she'll have to spend three days alone with the kids... but Ray should go.  

Ray is shocked. He yells, "What's going on?!" as he splashes chocolate in her face from brownie mix. He demands to know what she's up to... with all of the kissing, extra marshmallows in his cocoa, and the expensive DVD player.  

She asks "Is that what this is about?  The cost?"  Ray replies, "Yes, the cost... to me."  

Marie inserts herself into the conversation, "What is a DVD player?  Is it for pornography?"  

Ray demands answers because she couldn't possibly get it just because she loves him?  With tears in her eyes, she said it was, in fact, because it was Christmas, and she loves him and just wanted to get him something to make him happy.  

As she turns away, she comes to a realization.  "Did you get me those pots just so I'd let you go play golf?"  

Ray acts shocked she'd suggest that.  He then admits that he did, but only because he did something nice for her so she'd do something nice for him.  Like the engagement ring, he bought that for her, and she married him.  Debra responds, "Yeah, I fell for that one, too!" 

Debra asks Marie to leave the room and then asks Ray if he has ever purchased a gift without an ulterior motive.  If he ever kissed her without thinking, it would lead to... alone time.  

He says he doesn't care, and if it's "going to be a problem," he won't go.  Disgusted, Debra says, "Go play golf."  Ray offers that if there's something fun she wants to do, she should.  She scoffs and says, "When the kids go to college, I'll see a movie."  

He insists that she goes to the movies and he'll watch the kids.  She says, "Thanks, but no thanks."  Ray calls her a martyr and asks, "Why don't I help out around here?  It's because you love saying you never get to do anything!"  Deb says he's getting close to the end of his life.  "I'm not scared.  Like the DVD player, why, why?  After years of complaining that all I do is lay around and watch television, would you buy me a device that is designed to make the television watching experience even better?  We must ask ourselves... why?"  

Shocked, Debra sits down. "You're right. Why the hell would I buy you a DVD player?  What's wrong with me? I should make you help out around here. I don't need to be a martyr."

Realizing the tables have turned, Ray stammers, "Well, it's not like I have nothing to do.  You don't need to give it up cold turkey."

Debra takes off her apron and says she's been up since 5 and would like to take a nap.  She tells Ray to get his Mom to cook the Christmas dinner since she wants to do it anyway, and make sure the living room is picked up and the kids get washed and dressed for dinner.  Ray asks about the golf trip, and Debra says no, he can't go because then she'll just be a martyr with the kids alone while he's off golfing.

Ray offers, "The thing about martyrs is, a lot of them became Saints."  Debra thanks him for the best Christmas present ever and goes upstairs.  

In the closing tag sequence, dinner has ended, and Frank corners Marie alone.  He gives her a jewelry box and tells her to open it.  "But Frank, you already gave me lottery tickets," she says.  

She opens the box to reveal expensive earrings.  She thanks him excitedly, but as he looks around for Robert and Raymond, he says, "Just one thing... you didn't get those from me..."

6.  "Season's Greetings" (Season 6, Episode 12)  Originally Aired December 17, 2001

The episode opens as Debra enters Marie's kitchen and thanks her for watching the kids while she went to the dentist.  "I think its wonderful how you keep taking all of this time for yourself, dear" Marie responds.  Marie mentioned that she had been busy writing her Christmas letter and had leaves to get the children.  With her gone, Debra picks up the note pad and starts reading.  She's immeditalty shocked at what she reads:  "Oh lady, you are out of your ever-loving mind."  

When Marie returns, she accidentally hits Debra in the head with the kitchen door.  As she tries to get her ice (or a frozen bag of broccoli), Debra insists she can't send the letter.  She reads from it:  "Debra's cooking is coming along.  One day, I may even consider her for a job at Che Marie."  

Marie responds, "Oh, Debra, it's not a REAL restaurant.  It's make-believe!"  

Debra continues.  "Debra is outnumbered by the kids 3-to-1, so I help out, and now it's even."  Marie looks confused.  "So?  You're saying you're worth two of me!"  Marie responds, "Nobody is going to do the math."

This time Debra goes into the other room to get the kids, and when Marie follows, she once again hits Debra with the door.

That evening, Ray comes home to an upset Debra.  She tells him the delusions Marie is sending out in her Christmas letter... just as Marie comes through the back door, bringing Raymond biscotti.  Ray offers them to Debra, andshe says no thanks, and Marie dramatically says, "I'm sorry, Debra."

Debra accepts the apology, and Marie practically runs out of the kitchen and says she must get to the post office before it closes to send her letter.  Debra stops her and asks that after everything, she will still send it?   "When I speak, what do you hear?  Backward talk or dolphin squeak?"  

As an aside... for twenty years, my wife has asked me if she speaks dolphin squeak, and I now know where she got the line from!  She even confirmed it!

Marie pulls a letter out of her pocket and says that her sister Theresa sent it, which is why she must send the letter she wrote.  Debra begins to read it, full of flowery prose about Christmas, but Marie makes her stop and points out the things she did over the year, like singing at the White House or having her garden featured in magazines. "You'd think she pulled the Pope out of quicksand."  

Debra asks if she's jealous, and Marie makes Raymond choke on his biscotti when she says, "You know me, I'm not about petty jealousy."  Marie insists it's because of what was written about her, but "How much could she write?  Not much, really..." and hands Deb the letter and quickly says,  "Third page, second paragraph."

Debra reads, "We saw Marie and her family at Kelly's wedding.  They seem to be doing well in their cozy little situation, living a stone's throw away from one another.  Not that they'd throw stones, HA HA...."  Debra turns to Marie, "Oh, so she's a bitch?!" 

Marie says, "Listen, I would never say that, but it's nice to hear."  Debra is furious that she would write that about the family and insists that she and Marie sit down and write their own letter together that makes everyone look good.

Robert comes over and gives her a glowing letter about his promotions in the NYPD.  He had heard they were writing the Christmas letter and wanted his bio to be inserted verbatim.  After reminding Marie what she wrote about him ten years ago, he produces the letter in which he counts 9 mentions of Ray to 3 lines about Robert.  

He picks up this year's letter and reads about Ray to prove his point.  When he reads the line "Ray is still writing his column," Ray suddenly gets upset at the word "still," as if he should be doing something different by now.  Debra asks why he never went for that managing editor's job, and he starts grabbing for the letter demanding changes.  

Frank walks in and tells Marie he's hungry.  Ray reads the section about Frank, which lists his favorite television channels and mentions his love affair with bacon.  "I'm good!" responds Frank, but Ray is still upset and wants it rewritten.

Ray and Robert get into an argument, and Ray points out that he saved a letter for TEN YEARS.  Robert realizes that everything he does is in competition with his little brother and is disgusted with himself.  

Meanwhile, Frank gets upset because while everyone is talking, he reads the ten-year-old letter that includes a list of things the then-freshly retired Frank intended to do with himself.  Debra keeps pestering Ray about trying out for the job when Ray explodes and says he tried twice and was turned down twice.  

Robert is pleased at Ray's bad luck, while Frank is upset that he wasted the last ten years of his life.  The whole family begins arguing,, and Marie demands that they all just count their blessings.  

Debra takes charge of the room, "Frank, Make a new list!  You're not dead yet!  Robert, you're smart, handsome, and successful no matter what Ray does or doesn't do.  You're not a loser, you're a Leitutenant in the New York City Police Department for God's sake, and Ray... you're fine, you're married to me."  

Frank and Ray tear their section of the new letter away, and in a funny sight gag, Robert tears off a tiny little piece of his section.  Marie looks at the letter and tears it in half, giving Debra her half, before running to the post office to mail away her section of the letter.

In the closing scene, on Christmas morning, the family laughs and makes fun of the Christmas cards and letters they've received.  

7.  "The Thought That Counts" (Season 7, Episode 11) Originally Aired December 9, 2002

On Marie's birthday, Frank, Robert, and Raymond get her a set of figurines, just like her mother had when she was a little girl. Marie sees the price tag and mentions that they are $240. This upsets Robert because Raymond told them it was only $30 a piece.  Robert thinks Ray paid a much larger share just to show up Robert and Frank. Marie tells them to return the gifts because now she'll only think of her boys fighting over money.  

Ray refuses to take them back because he spent weeks thinking of what to get her.  Then, when he remembered her story about the figurines, he went to every antique store in the city until he found the exact same ones her mother had.  Marie turns to Frank and Robert and says "Not only did you not pay an equal amount, you didn't even help find this?"

Frank and Robbie are very upset at Ray.  "Nice job, Ray, letting her know you paid more wasn't enough," says Frank.  "It was all part of the plan to find the glory and hog it."  When Ray said he was sorry he had bought the figurines, Marie stormed out of the room upset.  

"Nice going, Raymond, you ruined that old crow's birthday," says Frank.  

That night in bed, Ray mentions that all he did was try to do something nice.  Debra agrees, saying, "You always put a lot of thought into the things you buy... for her."  She wonders aloud why Ray doesn't put the same thought into the gifts he buys her, but Ray is pretending to be asleep.  

Ray tells her that he was thoughtful with Debra's gift this year, remembering a time when they were walking together in the city, and she said, "Oh wow" when she saw something.  And that he may have bought her that something.  She asks what it is, and he tells her that she has to wait for Christmas.  He then rolls over, eyes wide open, realizing that his lie will require him to get the perfect gift. 

The following day, Ray heads over to Robert and Amy's apartment.  He tells Amy he wants to get Debra something really special this year, and Amy suggests pajamas.  

Robert tries to kick Ray out, still angry about the Marie figurine debacle. Ray begs them for help and says he plans to get Debra a "top-of-the-line" space heater.  

"Have you even ever met your wife?" Robert asks.

Robert, who has always had a weird obsession with Debra, suggests a photo or picture of Lake Saugatuck in Connecticut, where she spent every summer as a kid.  "Or she likes craftsmen furniture, or she's always mentioning that she... no wait, I got it, I got it... the first edition of To Kill a Mockingbird.  She did her college thesis on it!"  

"So, not a space heater?"  Ray responds as Amy looks slightly jealous.  

Days later, at Christmas, Ray gives Debra the book.  She begins to cry, touched at how Raymond bought her such a thoughtful gift.  After Ray gets hugs and kisses in thanks, Robert looms large in the background, a mixture of pride and jealousy.  

Debra then asks what they were doing in the city that reminded him of To Kill a Mockingbird.  He makes up a story on the spot about pigeons in New York City: "... and pigeon... bird... birds of a feather flock together... flock... Mock... Mockingbird!"  

Robert's eyes can't roll back into his head any further as he tries unsuccessfully to gain some credit for such a thoughtful gift.  

The next day, Robert and Amy show up, and Debra shows off her gift to Amy.  As Debra compliments her husband on such a lovely gift, he throws in another one of Robbie's suggestions when he says, "You know, I almost got you a painting of Lake Saugatuck."  

Deb is blown away, claiming she hasn't thought or talked about that place in years.  

Robert blows his stack and screams, "IT WAS ME!  You should be happy with me!  I told him to get that book.  Not him, me!"

Debra is devastated that Raymond lied and took credit for the gift.  Meanwhile, Amy is confused as to why it's so important to him that Debra knows the gift was his idea.  She then says that Debra's book is a little more thoughtful than what Robert bought her, which was two tickets to the ice capades.

Ray mentions that it must be a coincidence because two tickets to the ice capades is what Marie suggested he buy Debra.  Amy is now fuming because Robert has taken advice from Marie, and Debra tells Ray never to buy her another gift because it shows he just doesn't care.  

He apologizes for lying and for coming up with the idea for the "cuckoo bird" book.  "I stink at this, but it doesn't mean that I don't care.  In fact, I wouldn't lie half as much if I didn't care."

In the closing scene, Robert and Raymond sit together amongst a crowd of children at the ice capades.  Ray asks, "Do you actually like this?" but Robert stops him. "Shhh!  Here comes Scooby!"

8.  "Jazz Records" (Season 8, Episode 10) Originally Aired December 15, 2003

This is easily the weakest of all the Raymond Christmas episodes.  This one opens with Ray ranting about how the kids destroyed his prized dictionary that he won in 7th grade.  

Frank laughs and says, "What goes around, comes around, huh, Ray?  Just like when you ruined my jazz records."

Ray groans and says they've heard the story a hundred times over the past 30 years.  Frank continues to pester Ray until Ray finally tells them to go home.

A few days later, Ray comes over and gives Frank a gift.  Frank unwraps a stack of CDs, and Frank asks, "What's this?"

Ray tells him it's the jazz records he broke as a kid.  Frank claims to not have a CD player, but Ray tells him that he and Debra gave him one for Christmas last year.  Frank says that if they have it, it's in the basement, so Ray heads downstairs.

Marie is hanging up laundry downstairs, and Ray asks for the CD player.  She points to a pile on the other side of the room, but when Ray lifts the tarp, he finds a collection of several appliances and other gifts.  All of them are unopened.  

"A clock radio, a DVD player, a popcorn maker, a microwave oven... and another microwave oven!"

Marie tells him they don't need any of this stuff, just as Frank comes downstairs and asks why they are looking at "Mount Crap-more."

Ray tells them that if they want a pot roast, they can have it in "15 minutes" with the pressure cooker.  Frank says Marie cooks, and it currently takes him "no time."  Ray finds a garage door opener, and he says you wouldn't have to get out and lift the heavy door.  

Again, Frank just points at Marie.

He grabs the CD player and struggles to hook it up.  Then, he struggles to open the security seal on the CD while Frank reminisces about coming home from work, getting a drink, and coming downstairs to listen to his jazz records on the hi-fi.  

Still struggling to open the CD, Raymond watches as Frank and Marie give up and walk upstairs to eat.  

Ray goes home where Debra is wrapping gifts and tells her he's "through" with his parents.  "You read my letter to Santa!" Debra jokes.  He has one of Marie's bras with him after getting tangled in the laundry line when he left.  Debra says she'll wrap it and give it back to her since it's something she clearly would wear.

Debra sits him down and tries to calm her husband.  She says Ray should know Frank doesn't like anything new, and besides, it's Franks problem and not Rays.  Frank is the one who can't let go of the memory of his broken records.

The next day, Ray and Debra are alone in Frank and Marie's house.  Ray is waiting to play the music when they get home from shopping, and Debra tries to stop him.  They show up suddenly, and Raymond nearly scares them half to death with an extremely loud jazz record.  In fright, Marie and Frank toss their bags to the floor, and Frank clutches at his chest.  

Just then, Robert and Amy arrive.  Robert, carrying gifts, can't see the mess on the floor and slips and falls into a puddle of egg nog.  When Amy asks what happened, Marie says, "It was Raymond's awful machine."  

Ray offers to play more music, and Marie nearly passes out from fright.  Frank is furious, "It's not bad enough you ruined my jazz records, you've now ruined my floor, my ornaments... and my cook!"

Robert sits his father down and hands him a Christmas present.  Frank opens the box, and it's a stack of old records.  "These are my record,s" Frank says, in shock.  "I haven't seen these in over 30 years."  Robert and Amy tell him they've been going to garage sales, trying to find his old collection and get as many of the same records as they could.

Ray tries again to convince him the CDs he bought are the exact same thing.  Debra tells him to let it go, and despite everyone's objections, Ray puts on the CD player again.  Frank walks over and turns off the CD so he can play his records.  Frank finally breaks down and says, "I loved those damn albums.  I had always hoped that one day you'd love them too!"  

Ray and Frank begin to argue, and when Frank asks why he broke those records, Ray says he doesn't know because he was ten and doesn't even remember.  

When the yelling gets to a fever pitch, Robert yells for them to stop and that he wants to say something.  It was Christmas 1969, and he wanted a specific Hot Wheels track set that year.  Under the tree that year was custom-ordered corrective shoes.  He looked over and saw Raymond elbow-deep in a box of Hot Wheels that should have been for him.  

Ray accuses him of moving the records, but Robert continues.  "After Ray was tired of playing with his new Hot Wheels after 4 minutes, I took off my corrective shoes and took the track downstairs to play."

He then admits to moving Frank's records when he tried to set the track up the way it appeared on the box.  An apoplectic Ray shouts, "You let me think I ruined those records for 30 years!"

Robert replies matter of factly, "Yes."

Frank begins to laugh and says, "You two are so screwed up."  When Robert apologizes to Ray and Frank, Frank takes a half-second before saying, "That's ok!" with a big smile and walks away.

Ray and Robert start fighting again after Ray objects to Frank making him feel bad for 30 years, and he suddenly forgives Robert.  Debra steps between them and asks Frank to put on a record instead of listening to them fight.  Robert puts on an album, and the song begins playing with a lot of static and background noise.  Everyone seems uncomfortable except Frank, who is lost somewhere 30 years ago.

In the closing credit scene, Geoffrey and Michael give Ray a gift on Christmas morning.  It's a digital dictionary and thesaurus because they felt bad for ruining his old one.  When Ray looks disappointed, Frank laughs that they gave him a "better" electronic version of his old item, just as he tried to do.  

Amy finds one last gift for Maire: the bra that Ray took from their house.  Marie looks at Debra and says, "Nice try, dear.  It's just not a style I'd ever wear..."